Scott Desgrosseilliers

Organization System Part 5 - Maintaining

I am spending this blog week on my first-ever series of articles on the same topic.  I implemented a new personal productivity and organization system using Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity by David Allen.  I have never had more going on in my life, and at the same time I have never been more organized to deal with life.  I couldn’t find a way to limit my description of this time management system so I’ve broken it up into 5 smaller posts.  This post is Part 5 - Maintaining Your Organization.  Read Part 1 - Organization System Benefits and Part 2 - Organization System Setup and Part 3- Organization System Collecting Your Life and Part 4 - Organization System Processing.

If you’re reading this you either made it through the organization journey and blog entries, or this is still on the home page inversely ordered.  I am hopeful you made the journey to personal organization with me.  Maintaining your organization system is easy and it keeps you in present awareness of your life.  The feeling of being overwhelmed from too much to do or track will be removed.  Everything is kept out of your head and in the system, don’t forget this!

When something appears on your radar, it is time to start the process.  What actions and outcomes do you want from this “thing” that has presented itself in your life?   David Allen says it comes down to 3 questions-

1. What something means to you?
2. What you want to do about it?
3. What is the next action required to make it happen?

Take the action that is determined and if it can’t be done in 2 minutes, plug it into the appropriate place in the system.  If it can be done in 2 minutes, by all means get it done now!  Proactively managing tasks as they enter your life is extremely liberating and empowering.

Regular weekly review will help build confidence in the organization system.  Anything that has started floating around in the ether known as your life needs to be captured and classified.   Make sure your inbox is fully processed, your tickle folder system is up to date, and your priorities match your passions and goals.

David Allen’s personal organization system is truly life-changing.  I feel more active and engaged with all of my commitments and priorities.  I am choosing them instead of being sucked into the swirls of uninspired life action.  It sounds extremely type-A to be a fanatical list maker and maybe it is. I just know the organization system has freed up my creativity and given me greater peace of mind.  I don’t know many people that don’t need more of that.

Organization System Step 4 - Processing

I am spending this blog week on my first-ever series of articles on the same topic.  I implemented a new personal productivity and organization system using Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity by David Allen.  I have never had more going on in my life, and at the same time I have never been more organized to deal with life.  I couldn’t find a way to limit my description of this time management system so I’ve broken it up into 5 smaller posts.  This post is part 4, processing your pile..  Read Part 1 - Organization System Benefits and Part 2 - Organization System Setup and Part 3- Organization System Collecting Your Life

Hopefully you did not experience too much trepidation while staring at the pile of unresolved items from yesterday.  Fortunately we have reached the heart of David Allen’s organization system, the action phase.  There is one rule, and it is tough to adhere to, but it is crucial.  Whatever you pick up, starting at the top of your pile, has to be processed.  Processed does not mean finished, it just means put into the organization system for future action.   Are you ready?

For each item in your pile, you are going to either do it immediately, defer it until later, delegate it to someone else, throw it away, file it, or put it in your someday/maybe system for future contemplation.   I know it sounds nice to put everything into “someday/maybe” but that is how you got this huge pile to begin with.  So resist that temptation.

When deferring, delegating, classifying as someday/maybe, or filing, if the item is a physical item you will be putting it in your folder system according to the directions below.  But if it is a mental item such as “Research Meditation Tape Marketing Partnerships” you need to capture that somewhere also.  Time to setup your daily planner.

Have your daily planner ready with some blank pages.  Label the pages as listed below, for the following mental placeholders:

• “Emails” – A laundry list of emails you need or want to write.
• “Calls” – Phone calls you need or want to make.
• “Errands” – Random stuff like dry cleaning or getting the dog’s fur cut.
• “Home Projects” – Re-arranging furniture, cleaning out the fridge, etc.
• “Someday/Maybe” – This is a great mental brainpower saver.  When an item from your pile is something you want to do someday, such as “Schedule another psychic reading’, but you don’t know when you want to do such a thing or even think about when you want to do it, put it here.
• “Projects” – A list of any on-going projects, professional, personal, and all in-between.  I have a wedding project, honeymoon project, blog project, Motorola project, and a bunch more for all my side business schemes.
• Each Project gets a page – All the items in your pile, and all future items, related to something on your project list, get listed here. 

Now you are ready to deal with your pile!

Take the first item from your pile.  Ask the big question that determines your next workflow step.  Is this item something I can take action on?  Suppose the top of your pile is “look up mba programs”.  That is something you can take action on.  Maybe not this moment, but it is actionable.  If it is a brochure for a future travel destination on a trip you haven’t even begun to contemplate yet, you can take action on it (believe it or not).  A copy of a paid utility bill is something that requires no action.

If the item requires action -

1. Can it be completed in 2 minutes?  If it can, do it immediately.  This might be something that needs to have a file created and then stored in your general folder storage from Step 2.  If so, make a label, stick in on a folder, put the documents, reference material, etc. in your folder, and file it alphabetically according to the label you gave it.  The item could be a hacky sack from a junk drawer, if so, determine where to put it now.  It could be a box of staples or an old pen, and you have no use for it, so trash it now.  The whole point it that if the action to process the item can be completed in 2 minutes it is done immediately.
2. If it cannot be done in 2 minutes, is it something I can and want to delegate to someone else?  If so, do that now.  For example, the item in your pile is a piece of paper from your mental inventory that says “Have Mark write the business plan for xyz.com”.  You are deferring the action to Mark on project xyz.com.  You would write “Mark do the business plan” on your XYZ.com project sheet in your planner, and on your email or call list “mark to write business plan”.
3. If it cannot be done in 2 minutes, but it is something for you to take action on, assess the item for date sensitivity and how you want to be reminded.   
   • If it HAS to be done on a certain date or time, put that in your planner for that day and time. 
   • If you want to think about the item next week after your big work deadline is met, open up your tickler file, pick a day you might want to deal with it, and toss it in the folder. 
   • If it is a mental item such as “marketing plan for meditation website”, put it on the meditation project page you have in your planner and then throw the page out. 
   • It could be a brochure for a convention that would help your side business, list it on that project page and put it in that project’s folder.

If the item does not require action-

1. Is this an idea or dream you want to keep in your visions, but just not deal with it for awhile?  Put it on your Someday/Maybe list in your planner.
2. A receipt for a bike you just bought that has a one-year warranty or something similar?  File it in your general purpose files.
3. A pen you haven’t used in a year or something else that is useless – stop being a packrat and throw it out already!

Continue mowing through your pile following this process.  Don’t put an item back down just because it is not something fun or pleasant to deal with, follow the process.  It works!  As you start making progress, you will get more and more motivated to finish.  The weight of the world literally lifts off your shoulders as the system processes your life for you.

Expect a good afternoon worth of processing to plow through everything.  I reached a zen-like state where I was burning through items like a man possessed.  Finally the holy grail of organization!

Organization System Step 3 - Collection

I am spending this blog week on my first-ever series of articles on the same topic.  I implemented a new personal productivity and organization system using Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity by David Allen.  I have never had more going on in my life, and at the same time I have never been more organized to deal with life.  I couldn’t find a way to limit my description of this time management system so I’ve broken it up into 5 smaller posts.  This post is part3, collecting your entire life into one pile.  Read Part 1 - Organization System Benefits and Part 2 - Organization System Setup

A goal of this organization system is to give you a clear head at all times.  A clear head can only come about if everything is dealt with in some fashion.  By everything, I mean, literally, everything that is somehow taking up space in your brain as an open issue.  David Allen’s organization system deals with every open issue and commitment you have with your job, family, friends, and most importantly, yourself. 

In order to deal with everything, you have to capture everything to deal with.  Start with any piles on your desk or current inbox system.  Make one big pile somewhere, I used my guest bed.  Open up all your desk drawers and grab the random junk that lies in there, throw it on the pile.  I had blank cd-roms and DVDs, extension cords, greeting cards from my lady, hacky sacs, old markers and pens, tons and tons of rift-raft.

You are just getting started.  Go into each room of the house.  If there is anything that is out of place and it is small in size, grab it and put it in your pile.  Closets are especially dicey.  I had scary amounts of useless trivial crud piled up in the deep recesses of my walk-in closet.  I also had 3 “junk drawers” throughout my place.  I brought those into the guest bedroom and dumped them on the bed.

At this point a couple of feelings surfaced.  I was excited that I was finally going to deal with all this stuff I had accumulated.  I was also nervous, how the hell was I going to get through this junk pile of accumulated items spanning many years back?  The next phase of collection is the most beneficial however.

Get a big pad of paper and a pen.  Start with one room, look around it.  Anything that you want to change about the room someday, such as “find a print for over the guest bedroom” or “re-organize book rack” – each gets written on a separate piece of paper and thrown into the pile.  One item per page of page!  Put each piece of paper on your junk pile.  Don’t roll your eyes or blow this part off.  You are not going to actually perform every action you have written down.  But it will find its place in the organization system so that it is off your mind until it is time, or you have the desire, to deal with it.

When you have finished your room by room list of future actions you’d like to take, you need to list everything that is inside of your head.  Any future projects, calls to make, trips you need to plan, emails you need to write, ALL OF IT, write each one down on a separate piece of paper and throw it in the pile.  David Allen has a great list to help trigger things to write down, but you’ll have to get his book for that.  My list included “research Desgrosseilliers Indian side of family” – something I’d like to do someday, maybe, but not sure if I ever will.  “Write book” which I am in the process of doing, “Re-assess 401k allocations”, I hope this gets the idea across, write down anything you can think of – because you want your head clear.

The collection phase of the organization system can take a wide range of time depending on how much of a pack rat, mental or physical, you have tended to be.  Looking at the massive mound of to-dos on my guest bed, I felt great.  The size of my organization problem was now quantified.  I simply had to mow through the pile and I would be completely, fully organized.  If I had the tools to mow through the pile effectively, I might not have ever gathered such a pile of things to begin with.  Tomorrow the heart of the organization system is revealed, how to deal with every single piece in your to-do pile and all future tasks that need to get done.

Go to Step 4 - Processing Your Pile

Organization System Step 2 - Setup

I am spending this blog week on my first-ever series of articles on the same topic.  I implemented a new personal productivity and organization system using Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity by David Allen.  I have never had more going on in my life, and at the same time I have never been more organized to deal with life.  I couldn’t find a way to limit my description of this time management system so I’ve broken it up into 5 smaller posts.  This post is part 2, setting up your filing system.  Read Step 1 - Benefits before this post, and Organization System Step 3 - Collect Your Entire Life Into One Pile.

Becoming completely organized and present is a dramatic change.  Dramatic changes sometimes require dramatic first actions.  The organization system I implemented from David Allen requires a bold first step.  You need to collect everything in your life, and even more daunting, in your head, and harness it all in one huge pile of stuff to deal with.  Before that step can be taken, you have to be setup properly.

Keeping your mind free and clear is the goal.  In order to do that, when "stuff" arrives in your inbox, either from the mail, your thoughts, email, wherever, you need to deal with it.  Go out and buy a brother labelmaker, a ton of large tabbed manila folders, and a daily planner.  I never thought I would be advocating something dorky like a labelmaker, but it makes a huge difference in this process, so do it.

The filing system is crucial.  You don't want it to be time-consuming to file something.  It needs to be easy to adapt to new folders, re-labeling of items, and anything else that comes up.  The filing system that David Allen advocates and I wholeheartedly recommend is to:  1.)Remove all hanging racks and folders so your file drawer is an empty drawer, and 2.)keep all your files alphabetically according to however you remember what it is you are filing.  Simple!  If you get your cable bill from Comcast, and you think "Cable TV", take your label maker, print out a "Cable TV" label, and put the mail in that folder.  If you think "Comcast", print out a "Comcast" label, file it alphabetically according to that.  Or if you think "Utility Bill - Cable TV - Comcast", print that out and file it that way.  The beauty and effectiveness is in the simplicity.  If you suddenly notice that you keep thinking a different way about a folder, you can easily reprint a label and move it to its corresponding alphabetical position.  Getting rid of those irritating hanging rods and folders is a God-send also, the files are much easier to access, re-order, and put back. 

General Filing System Setup: 

1. Take your existing file cabinet, remove the hanging rods, folders, and categories. 
2. Make labels for all folders according to how you remember them. 
3. Put the folders back into the cabinet according to alphabetical order.

What if you need to remember to look at a bill, piece of mail, reminder to get tickets, or a place to keep airline itineraries that are needed on a specific day?  Maybe you have something you want to deal with, such as a flyer for a conference you want to attend, but you just can't spend the time to deal with it for 3 weeks?  A quality organization system needs to be able to handle these types of things.  These items call for a tickler system.

The setup of a tickler system involves one folder for each month of the year, and one folder for each day of the month.  The current month's day is the front folder in the tickler file drawer.  After the last day of the month, then the next month's folder, then the day's of the current month that have already passed.  After the last of those day's, the following month's folders are in order.  When you get something, anything, that you have to deal with on a certain day, you put it in the folder for that day.  If the day is more than 31 days out, you put it in the month's folder that the item needs to be dealt with.  Even if it is something you don't have to deal with on a certain day, but don't want to think about for 2 weeks, you can put it in a folder that is 2 weeks away and then it is off your mind.  At the start of each deay, you open the folder for that day, dump the contents on your desk, move the folder to the next month, and then deal with the items.  I have found this to be a big brain reliever!  My head is clear of those "things I need to deal with, but not right now" items.  And I have place-holders that I can trust for the tasks and papers that I must get to on certain days.

Tickler File Setup:

1. Create 31 folders with the numbers 1 to 31 on them.
2. Create 12 folders with each month on them.
3. Setup the current day as the first folder and the rest of the days of the month following it.
4. Put next month's folder after the last day's folder.
5. Put the folders of days already passed in the current month, after the next month's folder.
6. Put all future months after the last day.

The last set of folders are your project folders.  With experience you will be able to determine when you need a project folder.  I define project folder need as anything that is ongoing, accessed frequently, and is a hot topic for me.  I currently have project folders for my wedding, honeymoon, meditation site, chocolate business, and book.  If I come across a cool place in Italy for our honeymoon while reading a magazine, I rip out the page and throw it in the honeymoon folder.  No more wondering if I'll remember!  Important email instructions concerning my meditation site?  Print it out and put it in the meditation site folder.

I have a filing drawer in my desk that I put the projects folders in the front of.  Then I put the daily folders.  After that I put the monthly folders.  The bottom filing drawer is my alphabetical general storage files.  I am still amazed at how easy it is to access my files and get to any papers or other rift-raft I might need.  I hope you've hung in there and setup your files in this manner.  Tomorrow we'll collect everything in your house, desk, and brain so that your entire life can be assessed!!

Go to Organization System Step 3 - Collect Your Life Into One Pile

Organization System Step 1 - Benefits

I am spending this blog week on my first-ever series of articles on the same topic.  I implemented a new personal productivity and organization system using Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity by David Allen.  I have never had more going on in my life, and at the same time I have never been more organized to deal with life.  I couldn’t find a way to limit my description of this time management system so I’ve broken it up into 5 smaller posts.  This post is part 1, the powerful benefits to a personal organization system. Read Step 2 - Setting Up Your Filing System and Step 3 - Collect Your Life Into One Pile also.

A great organization and time management system keeps you present and aware of “now”.  There are a number of best-selling spirituality and feel-good books about the wonderful things that occur when you are present and participating in “now”.  Those same books don’t often give concrete examples on how to get to “now” from wherever you are.  Getting organized, and more importantly, being able to stay organized, is critical to experiencing your present moments consistently and repeatedly.  Once you find yourself fully present and out of your head, you will enjoy the feeling immensely and want to stay plugged in to your surroundings.

I’ve experimented with numerous productivity systems in my attempt to get organized.  I’ve tried multiple filing cabinet systems, intricate day planners, hourly planners, monthly desk calendar blotters, integrated outlook systems, and heavy-duty phone calendar management systems.  They all failed for various reasons…many times because they just weren’t any fun to maintain.  I’m not saying this organization system is a nonstop laugh riot.  But Getting Things Done is the time management system that solves all the problems I’ve had with organization and the feeling is amazing.  The organization system described in brings more focused results, frees up mental energy, and allows you to be more present in your life – the most important thing you can get from a time management system.

The flood of information creates numerous decisions large and small that create repercussions in your life.  How you handle the results of your decisions can add or remove stress.  Did you open up that wedding invitation, spend 5 minutes wondering if you could go, then realized you had to check with your wife on travel plans that weekend, wonder about dog sitting expenses, check on flights and see they are expensive, and now you are worrying about how to make your decision and realize you have a number of additional things to do in order to be able to come to a decision on the wedding invite?  This is common.  A seemingly innocent envelope cost you ten minutes of your life and will cost you countless time in the future.  What do you do with this invitation?  You have a decision still to make.  You can’t make the decision now.  And there are a number of additional steps that need to be taken in order to close the invitation decision.

The above situation has caused you mental stress, wasted your time, and caused you to become unaware of what is going on in present reality.  You probably spent the ten minutes blanked out and visualizing different outcomes in your head.  A great organization system will prevent all that by dealing with the situation immediately, tracking any resulting actions, and keeping your mind clear.

Every time you think of something that needs to get done, a part of your brain continues to re-check the status on that open item.  David Allen refers to this as “an open loop”.  For example, I know that I someday want to trace my French-indian heritage.  But I also know that I don’t want to do it in the near future.  So this creates an open loop in my head, because it is an unfinished item that I may or may not want to do in the undefined future.  A good organization system will capture these types of things so it can release the slight, subtle, but still present mental stress.  You are freeing up “psychic ram” space similar to when you close down some of the programs on your computer and then it runs faster and more efficiently.

Feeling focusing and knowing that you are directing your energy to what you wish to accomplish is a great feeling.  I’ve already blogged about focusing on your most important actions.   Despite my best intentions, the top 5 action list can get overwhelmed or neglected if I’m not careful.  The organization system keeps my top 5 list on target and keeps my mind clear of distractions so I can focus on it.

Hopefully you are ready to learn more about this organization system.  I really feel it can change your life for the better.  Tomorrow I’ll discuss the first stage of the system – Setting up your filing system.”

Read Organization System Step 2 - Setting Up Your Filing System

Top 5 List of Most Important Actions

I've enjoyed reading and researching into the Law of Attraction and The Secret.  All of the books of that genre get me pumped up to go out and tackle the world.  Identifying my goals and passions, creating meditations and visualizations, ...all of that stuff has helped to generate cool and exciting ideas.  But that is where a lot of how-to Law of Attraction books fall short. 

I'd have a ton of ideas and opportunities, actually too many, and would find myself swamped with things to do.  The anxiety of having too many things going on, plus new ideas streaming in, would give me a creeping sense of dread.  Because not only was I falling behind, I had no time for my new endeavors that I had intended into my experience.  The things that I wanted to do most were now causing me anxiety, because I had identified them and couldn't find the time to do anything about it!

I tried creating an elaborate Excel spreadsheet.  It had a nested hierachial structure of long-term goals, middle-term milestones, and short-term tasks.  A true project manager's dream status sheet come to life.  I was going to make it rich selling this thing!

I started using it and realized one small problem.  Managing my excel sheet sucked!  Not only was it unenjoyable, I actively seeked other activities to avoid having to interact with it.  My excel goal-tracking sheet was a failure.

However, every failure leads to a new opportunity.  At least that is what all of my "Secret" books and gurus tell me.  I began googling different productivity ideas.  I found a very simple one that has worked wonders for me.  I have been using it for 2 months and I've never gotten more done in my life.  I make a list of the 5 most important actions I want to do for the next day before I go to bed.  In the morning I keep it within eyesight.  I try to work on the list exclusively, starting with the first action.  I end up getting the majority of the actions listed done each day, if not all of them.  It's that easy.

I read about the technique randomly on the web.  Charles Schwab the steel baron of the 1920s was visited by a productivity guru.  Schwab told the guru he wanted to get more accomplished with his time.  The guru told him to write down the tasks in order of importance.  Start the day working on the #1 task and stay on it until it is completed.  When it is done, re-assess the rest of the list, then go on to the next item.  The guru (I can't find the guy's name anywhere) then finished his lesson to Schwab by saying to use it for a month and then pay him what it is worth.

Charles Schwab, in the 1920s, sent the guy a check for $25,000.

What have I got done with this method in 2 months?  I built an entire website from the ground up (details in a post next week).  I've upped my blogging and other writing ventures (posting this blog was #1 on my list today).  Most importantly I feel like each day I've managed to do some or most of the things that I most wanted to do.  That gives a lot of personal satisfaction that I didn't call it a night frustrated that yet another day was spent unwisely.

Artist Starves Dog To Death As Art

I am a very positive person and don't intend to focus on negative things with my blog.  So after this post it will be back to more uplifting articles and posts.  But I feel compelled to pass along this shocking story and a link to an online petition.  An artist in Honduras starved a dog to death at an art exhibition over several days and received an award for it!

The artist found a stray dog and chained him to the corner of an art gallery. The artist's idea was to showcase the suffering of the dog or something similarly deranged. So the dog was left tied in the corner without food or water until it died. I received a forwarded email showing pictures but I feel they are too disturbing to post up here.  You can read the story, find links to pictures, and sign an online petition against this artist's award here.

Its hard to decide the most disturbing past of this story. In the pictures you can clearly see hordes of observers. Its not like the dog was under heavy secret service security. Someone could have done something. But instead people came to check out the "show". Has entertainment reached a point where live deprivation is a good show?

I really don't know what signing an online petition against this artist is going to accomplish. Probably not much at all. Perhaps being aware that something like this can occur will trigger someone to speak up for a future injustice.

Reunion.Com Spam Is Terrible

Reunion.Com spam was the likely culprit if your internet connection acted slow yesterday.  Reunion.Com provided a perfect example of how to ruin your internet business reputation.  Not only did they email everyone in all of my address books in a sneaky way, they didn't even provide the information that I initially responded to.

The email from Reunion.Com arrived innocently enough.  "Someone from Auburn, ME is trying to contact you" or something like that.  I was at work, and so of course excited for a diversion, and quickly clicked on the email to find out which long-lost classmate it would be.  I get to the site and I have to register first.  I normally would register with my special spam email account used for online form signups.  However, the invitation had come to my primary email, so I was stuck using that account to learn who was looking for me.

This is where Reunion.Com got slimy.  As part of the registration process, they went through my entire address book.  I had people from work quizzing me "You are looking for me on Reunion.Com?"  My phone buzzed with a text that I was looking for myself on Reunion.Com!

At this point the Reunion.Com registration process spread like a true virus.  I kept getting email back from other people's address book's requesting reunions at their site.  I emailed the website giving them hell...it made me feel better but I doubt it will help any.

If any publicity is good publicity then Reunion.Com achieved its goal.   Because everyone was talking about how much the site sucks.  Slimy web business practices of email spamming leave me determined to never visit that site again.

My Love/Hate Relationship With Cold Stone Creamery

I feel a sense of guilt as I cast a wistful glance at the sign.  A glance turns into an abrupt turn, and I find myself speeding up to the counter.  "Love it Godiva Chocolate with double Reese's peanut butter cup and whip cream please" I blurt out like an expert.  2 minutes later I am up on my couch with my eyes closed, savoring every delectable bite.  I finish and furrow my brow to try and prevent the guilt from rushing in.  It's not guilt over the calories, although that sucks also.  I hate Cold Stone Creamery because of a few incidents between us.

Incident #1

Summer 2006, the day of the annual Luge Party.  I pull into my condo building with a pre-carved luge in the trunk.  It dawns on me that the luge has already begun the melting process, and its 7 hours until the first shot will be delivered off its icy post-carved surface.  Cold Stone Creamery is located on the ground floor on my building, mere steps from the main entrance.  I walk in and see one of the co-owners of the store, who also lives in the building.  I exchange a quick pleasantry and then explain my plight-

Me - "Hi, I've seen you a few times in the elevator.  I live in Millennium Centre also, how's it going?"Cold Stone Creamery female owner - "Pretty good.  How can I help you?"Me - "I have an interesting scenario.  I'm throwing a party tonight on the pool deck.  I bought an ice luge for the party, but it is already starting to melt.  Can I store the luge in your cooler?"Her - "What's a luge?"

I explain what a luge is.  She replies "I'm sorry, its a health hazard to have a block of ice in our cooler."  What!  A cooler that is filled with ICE and ICE cream, and it will be unhealthy to have more ice in it?  I storm out furious and rush to the grocery store to buy ice to keep my ice luge iced.  I vow never again to go to Cold Stone.

Months pass and I smirk in defiant willpower as I pass Cold Stone Creamery each day.  No way in hell will I go in there.  Soon a year has passed, I have spent a fun day partying on the pool deck, someone mentions ice cream and I decide I have punished the place enough. 

Incident #2

We enter into Cold Stone Creamery.  I see the other co-owner, the husband of the "ice luge health hazard" excuse lady.  I place my order.  Damn it looks good on the cold stone while they are smashing in my mix-ins.  I see that while my coffee with heath bar mix-in looks good, why not splurge another 50 cents and get another heath bar tossed in.

Me - "Man, that heath looks good. Can you toss another one in there?"Cold Stone Creamery Male Owner - "Sure thing!  Put on as many as you want, its more money in my pocket!"

What an ass.  I am not implying I should get a free mix-in.  But this guy was in absolute glee over the thought of taking my additional 50 cents for a mix-in.  I walk out of there irritated that I would break my willpower and go back to that place.  Although my coffee with double heath bar mix-in almost caused me to black out from taste bud sensory overload.  I make a new vow.  Never again go to Cold Stone!

My Resolve Weakens

Of course, as time passes, things get tricky.  I keep passing Cold Stone 3-6 times a day.  My anger softens.  I tell why I refuse to go to Cold Stone, but my heart isn't in it.  Ironically, the day a true competitor appears 1/2 block away starts the crack in my resolve.

We go into Berry Chill Couture, a "hip" new ice cream or yogurt place of some kind.  I say this because when you walk in, all of the mix-ins are displayed as icons floating on a plasma above the cash register.  This is disorientating to say the least.  The place looks and feels a little claustrophobic.  Plus the ultra-picky fiancee is grumbling she doesn't like something about the place.  So we hastily leave.  However, I am now craving ice cream.  The options are discussed and we buy ice cream, hot fudge, whip cream, and mix-ins and make our sundae.  It tastes good, but it was a lot of work and time, and city people want satisfaction immediately and without effort.

The Inevitable Cave-In

A few days go by and I need ice cream.  I don't really even want it, but I envision the flavors in my mouth and that's it, I'm a goner, gotta have it.  The thought of waiting in line at Jewel to get ice cream sounds awful.  So now its down to what matters more, my vow of anti-Cold Stone vs. my laziness to fetch and make my own sundae.

I feel a slight sense of anxiety as I walk in, as though the ice cream clerk will shout "Look everybody, he's back at Cold Stone!"  But no one says a thing as I order the Godiva chocolate with Reese's peanut butter cup and whip cream.  As if repeating the past, I blurt out "add another Reese's".  The owners are nowhere in site, and the clerk rings up my order without incident.  And the ice cream is unbelievably good, I am literally exclaiming "Oh God" multiple times while I eat it.  I being to understand why females crave chocolate, and I feel my X (female) chromosome give silent thanks.  My ancient grudge against Cold Stone has been put to rest just in time for summer.

Dodgeball Registration Brings Dreams of Summer

I received my annual rite of spring email this week…Dodgeball Registration!  The registration and coordination of the dodgeball team gives Chicagoans a glimpse of hope that the latest miserable winter is over.  Because summer in Chicago is paradise.  A hard-fought, much-deserved paradise after going through the wind chills, the ice, the awfully gray days of the April, and then just about when you are ready to up and move, May arrives and you are at all-day beer festivals.  I thought it could be interesting to review the dodgeball teams of the past

Dodgeball summer 2005 – O.F.F.

The first summer of dodgeball began by accident.  I got invited to join a volleyball team with some friends.  It sounded like a good idea to get out to the beach each week, but I also noticed that some of the volleyball teams are extremely skilled.  I looked at our team of my friends, all great people, none of them the type to win many volleyball games with.  I noticed on the volleyball page there was also a page for dodgeball.  The dodgeball movie had just come out and everyone had loved it.  It was decided that 3 of us would each recruit 8 friends for a dodgeball team.
We ended up with the team name O.F.F..  The premise was that IF we happened to lose a game, the announcer would have to say that  the other team “beat off”.  I cringe typing this, but a room full of people 4-deep in vodka lemonades thought it was uproarious at the time.  That season the announcer had a lot of opportunities to say “beat off”, because we got crushed the first 21 games of the year.  I believe we finished the year with a sparkling 3-37 record.  However, post-dodgeball partying was a highlight of the week and many times I was lucky to login the next day by noon…and I had half-day Fridays, which meant a 1 hour Friday, not too shabby.

Dodgeball summer 2006 – The 5 D’s.  Drink, drank, drunk, dodge, and drink.

Despite the rough record of 2005’s teams, there was a groundswell of interest in dodgeball.  That spring while out at various bars and parties I would be introduced as the dodgeball captain and most of the time at least one newly met person would ask if they could play.  We incorporated a couple of new ideas from our hard-learned lessons of 2005.  A better team name, better team shirts, bigger dudes, less scared chics.  The results were that we could go out all night in our shirts without feeling stupid.  We could win almost 50% of our games.  But we never were able to claim victory for an entire night.  This stunk, because if you win the evening’s round robin of games, you get Duffy Dollars, which you can spend at the sponsoring bar that night.   A new idea this year that worked really well was bringing a cooler of pre-mixed vodka lemonades to the game.  Some of our team members performed significantly better after a few lemonades.

Dodgeball summer 2007 – Derelict My Balls. 

The year our dodgeball team came together on all fronts.  We had a killer name.  Our logo and team shirts were the best looking in the league.  For the first time I actually wore my shirt to the gym because it was not too juvenile.  We were victorious on one of the dodgeball round-robin nights, enabling us to get a shot and a beer for the entire team after the game.  I was told my team had the hottest chics, always nice to hear for both me and them, particularly since we are the oldest team in the league by about a decade.  We routinely went out after the games for $2 you-call-it night at a bar on Lincoln ave (I forget the name and I have been there about 20 times) and got destroyed.  However, one thing remained elusive, our playoff performance, we still got destroyed.  Half the team was in California for a wedding during the crucial end of the season single-elimination championship tournament.

So what will dodgeball summer 2008 bring?  I have been around long enough to know that these things can’t be predicted.  But I am thrilled that dodgeball season is just around the corner.