Scott Desgrosseilliers

Advice for Adults Visiting a Disney Park

I just returned from a trip to Orlando that included stops at Epcot and Disney’s Magic Kingdom.  I have a few tips and insights for adults making the trek down.  Don’t bring kids that need strollers.  Hit the popular rides first thing in the morning.  Use the FastTrack religiously and strategically.  And drink heavily at Epcot’s world showcase.  Let me explain these in order.

Bringing an infant to a Disney park is no different than bringing your favorite pet rock to the park.  Actually, the pet rock would make it easier on the parents, because it wouldn’t cry, crap, or want to suck on mommy’s boob while a bunch of onlooker teenagers gawk at you.  Plus its easier to carry.  The invasion of strollers at Epcot and Magic Kingdom is out of hand.  Perhaps the parents are a little over eager or excited to bring the Disney magic to their kids.  I’m telling you right now, my kids have to be able to walk around the park on their own two feet all day or we aren’t going.  The idea that a baby is going to have any idea that it is Goofy or Mickey Mouse waving at it, while the baby is just sitting there drooling and tripping out, is ridiculous.  So I felt no guilt about speeding past the parents so I could get on Space Mountain faster than they could.  If your child can’t walk for the day save yourself $5000 and rent Disney home videos.

When you are an adult going to Disney’s Magic Kingdom, there is the Space Mountain pitch-black roller coaster ride and then there are all other rides that pale in comparison.  It is far and away the most exciting and thrilling ride at Magic Kingdom.  Do yourself a favor and get to the park before 10 am and sprint immediately to Space Mountain.  We were able to get on the ride immediately, I almost didn’t break stride through the line until I reached my roller coaster seat.  At Epcot head straight for the Soaring attraction.  It attempts to simulate hang-gliding.  I went hang-gliding in Rio de Janeiro and was excited for this simulation.  It does not simulate hang-gliding very well, but it is still a really cool ride that has you soaring over a number of cool vistas.  I suppose it did not simulate my hang-gliding experience because there was actually more safety precautions at Disney than Rio.  In Rio my guide gave me a photo album of past hang-gliders to thumb through while we drove past cops with AK-47s due to drug rioting.  I digress but going early and directly to the best attractions allows you to avoid painful wait times.

Everyone hates lines.  I remember learning in school that people in Russia waited all day in lines to get bread.  Apparently waiting in line was a way of life.  I would’ve left town immediately, what is more awful than waiting all day for bread?  Now, this might’ve just been Reagan propaganda on how bad the USSR was, but regardless, I hate to wait in lines.  For people that share this pain, Disney parks have something called FastTrack. FastTrack allows you to insert your ticket and get an assigned time that you can skip the line for a particular ride.  This was a godsend on the log flume ride at the Magic Kingdom.  We literally passed 3-500 people and got to get on the log flume after only 3-4 minutes.  I cannot imagine how long some of those poor bastards without FastTrack had to wait.  My advice is to find two attractions close by each other that you are interested in.  Get the FastTrack for one of them and then go on the other one.  It will ease the pain of waiting when you know that your wait time is actually for two rides at the price of one line.

My last piece of advice is specific to Epcot.  Epcot is a lot more interesting when you are older and can drink in the world showcase.  There are not many cool rides at Epcot.  Hit Soaring and maybe The Land from 10-11am and then pop over to the world showcase.  When I was in college there was a party theme known as an “Around the World party”.   Each room/section/party area was a different beverage and theme.  Epcot’s world showcase lends itself beautifully to this.  Our version of Around Epcot’s World had at least one drink bought in each country.  This could be shared by the group, downed by one hardy soul, or a round could be bought if everyone was thirsty.  It was a great idea.  I even partook in a limited solo bongo drum career after a Morocco-rita.

Advance planning helps in a lot of life’s areas.  The enjoyment of a theme park can be greatly decreased if you wasted half the day in line.  Follow my advice and your Magic Kingdom and Epcot visits will be a lot more pleasant.

Engaged!

The boat was floating in perfect position directly in front of the Magic Kingdom.  The fireworks display started going off directly over Cinderella’s castle.  After weeks of planning the moment was ready.

“It’s been a perfect day” theGirlfriend said. 
“The only thing to make it more perfect would be if you would be my wife,” I said. 

Her mouth gaped open and she put her hand over her heart.  For the first, and probably last time ever, theGirlfriend was speechless.   5 seconds seemed like an eternity. I realized I had no idea if I had actually asked her, and if so what her answer was, so I then managed to ask her to marry me and she now is known as theFiancee.

In hindsight if I proposed once or twice, if I got on one knee, any pertinent details at all - I can’t tell you, I think I had an out of the body experience.  The journey from Neighbor to Girlfriend to Fiancee has shown me that following your intuition and feelings as a guide can open up entire new worlds beyond what you think is possible.

I crafted a pretty sweet proposal plan a few weeks ago.  However, once I knew the date and the plan, I started getting antsy and was worried I would propose to her without everything being “perfect”.  So I had the ring shipped down to my grandmother in Florida, if I didn’t have it, I couldn’t give it.  Plus, theFiancee would have no chance of snooping around and finding it in my stuff.  I plotted with my family to ensure she would have no idea the proposal was coming and we set off for the best weekend I’ve ever had.

Friday my brother got married in a small intimate ceremony at my mother’s.  Everything went off perfectly and I am sold on a small intimate ceremony for our wedding.  Andy was thrilled and much more calm than he would usually be in a pressure situation.  I delivered a shockingly appropriate toast, casting off my plans to discuss how he got his nickname RoniBreath as a young Andrew and sticking to how happy his new bride makes him.  Then we were off to Orlando to see Cirque du Soleil.

Or at least I thought we were. When I got up to the ticket window the seller looked at the tickets, typed on his computer, and told me I was all set for Saturday’s show.  Oh shit!  I explained to him this was the start of a honeymoon weekend and is there anyway we could see tonight’s show in exchange?  Especially since I would be proposing the next night during the same time!  The ticket seller, in one of many things that would go my way this weekend, exchanged the tickets for dead-center seats about 10 rows up, the premium seats for the show.  Bonus!

The La Nouba show at Cirque du Soleil, how does someone describe this?  The show manages to almost overwhelm your senses with music, lights, and performers doing incredible things.  There is so much going on the panoramic view from your two eyes can’t take it all in, you have to constantly keep darting your eyes across the stage, up in the air, looking towards the ceiling, and at each eye’s gaze target you see something that makes you exclaim out loud.  My mother must have exclaimed “Jesus!” every half minute or so, especially when there were high-wire acts involved, it was hysterical.

Saturday I awoke and felt calm and excited.  Unlike in the movies or popular culture where the bachelor wakes up filled with dread, I could not wait for the big moment.   We spent the day at Epcot.  Disney has a new innovation at Epcot since I had last been there, called FastTrack, which allows you to get a cut the line pass during a designated time period.  This is golden.  I was continually shocked at the people that did not take advantage of this as we raced past them in line repeatedly.  Around 11am the Epcot rides seemed less desirable because the world showcase was open.  The Epcot World Showcase recreates a number of countries across the globe, you literally walk from country to country.  We had the great idea to have our own around the world drinking party, having a beverage in each country.  I was a little concerned this could lead to a disaster in the engagement plans, but fortunately the rules of our around the world party were that SOMEONE had to drink in each country, not everyone. 

After Epcot we had dinner at Citrico’s in the Grand Floridian hotel.  This is the elegant hotel on the lake in between Disney World and Epcot.  The big moment was approaching.  The master plan called for both my mother and brother to claim they were too tired to go on the boat ride I had arranged for the fireworks that night.  If I had told theGirlfriend that we were going on a private romantic boat cruise, she would’ve been all hawk-eyed about an impending proposal.  During dinner I left the table to go check out the boat and make sure it was adequately prepared.  I received a frantic call from theGirlfriend.  “Your family is insisting they don’t want to go on the boat! What are we going to do!”  I told her the boat was non-refundable so I guess we’d have to go on it alone.  But while that was the master plan and it was working out perfectly, I had a change of heart.  I felt it would be better if my parents and brother were on the boat during the proposal, especially after seeing the boat’s layout and ensuring we’d have privacy.

I stopped at a Disney convenience store to get some beverages we could toast the engagement to.  The checkout clerk told me I could only purchase 2 items.  “Get me the manager!” I sternly commanded.  The manager showed up and I told her “Listen, I’m proposing in 15 minutes.  And I intend to have a toast afterwards.  I understand you have this 2 item rule and I want more than that.  Make it happen!”  She smiled and did so.  I felt like Teen Wolf when he is buying a keg of beer in the store, and his eyes start to glow and he gets wolf-like.  I am not sure what happened to my appearance but I got the store to sell me what I wanted.

The last part of the plan was getting everyone on the boat.  My mother had already passed me the ring under the table so as far as she knew, the plan was to stay off the boat under all circumstances.  We walk towards the boat and I get Melissa on it first.  I turn to my mom and tell her to get on the boat, it’s fine.  She and Dan get on it.  My brother is unaware of the change in itinerary, he is telling me that his bride is seasick and can’t go on.  I walk up to him laughing and whisper that it’s cool, get on the boat, so they do.  The boat ride is perfect.  We are treated to a light show and then the boat maneuvers dead center in front of the Magic Kingdom.  I am trying not to make it obvious, but I can’t help keeping a death lock grip on the ring through my pants.  I’m afraid it could be lost at sea – funny story for everyone but me if that happened.  The fireworks start up and if you’ve been reading this from the beginning, you know what happened next.

It is my brother and my understanding that females will wear black on December 8th next year to mourn us both being taken off the market on the same day.

Meditation

Meditation is like having an orgasm.  If you reach a meditative or orgasmic state, you definitely know it.  And if you are not sure if you did, it is highly likely you haven’t.  To try and describe what meditation or an orgasm feels like…well, you just know that it happened. 

Meditation is the most valuable tool I have learned for well being.  It is also the least understood.  It is my hope that I can explain some practical benefits and ways to experience them for yourself.

Think of all the mental chatter that goes on in your head during a typical day.  You wake up to a radio or alarm – already intruding noises are interfering with your mental state.  You (hopefully) spend some time with your mate and then check texts and voicemails from the night before.  The mind starts churning based on that information.  Perhaps you turn on one of those horrendous morning talk show programs…more mindless brain chatter ensues from the drivel the hosts are yapping about.  The morning paper trumpets all sorts of horrible things that occurred the night before.  This gets you thinking negatively without you even realizing it.  On your commute you have radio djs, blabbing on your cell phone, or hopefully a book or music, but still, your mind is engaged in something.  There is no time for your brain to relax or chill out, and you haven’t even started your workday yet!

Meditation offers many, many benefits.  I often feel the new-agey way that meditation is described in magazine articles turns people off and weakens the message.  Its most fundamental and easily understandable benefit is it gives your brain rest and recovery.   There is something different and deeply refreshing about consciously resting your brain.  I am not saying sleep may not help in the same way, but meditation is a different thing than sleeping and provides tangible feelings in your brain that you don’t feel when you wake up in the morning.  You are more alert, you feel better, you are happier.  There are other deeper metaphysical benefits but at a basic physical level that everyone can experience, you brain simply feels noticeably undeniably better than it did before you meditated.

The initial difficulty is, how does someone meditate?  I remember reading “Focus on the one sound or word” or “Try to think of nothing”.  The problem – the advice “thinking of nothing” means you are thinking, because you are trying to focus on nothing.  That defeats the purpose.  It took me awhile to realize that learning meditation was tough because I had nothing to compare it with.   Think of learning to swing a baseball bat.  You see someone swing it.  Then you try a swing yourself.  You first swing might be pathetic, but you already can begin to generate muscle memory of what a swing feels like, and someone else can review your swing and offer corrections.  Trying to figure out what it feels like to think about nothing, and why the hell you would want to do this, is not trivial.

Fortunately for you, I have gone through the meditation education process and found 3 ways that work.   Meditation technologies are available that can train your brain on the feeling of meditation.  Or you can use yoga, that has been around forever, to help induce meditative states in your brain.

Yoga is a very simple way that can teach your brain what it feels like to meditate.  The original purpose of yoga was to prepare the body for meditation.  The postures and breathing and focus form a moving meditation with your body and breath.  The end of the ashtanga yoga sequences leave you in corpse pose. This pose symbolizes the death of your yoga practice for that day.  But it also has you lying flat on the floor after strenuously breathing and moving for over an hour.  The intensely calming buzz that is in your head after the movements is deeply meditative.  I have routinely got up from my mat after corpse pose and found that over 20 minutes has passed in meditation effortlessly!

Let’s suppose you don’t like yoga, or don’t care to do it, or try it but you don’t feel like you have reached a meditative state.  How about lying on your bed and listening to a cd guide you to where you need to be?  There are 2 meditation technologies that can put your brain in a meditative state while keeping you in complete control to stop the process if you chicken out.

My favorite is at www.hemisync.com.  Hemi-sync has a series of tapes called the Gateway Series that can teach you meditation and many, many other mind-expanding skills.  The Hemi-sync process sends a different tone into each ear.  The brain takes the two tones to hear a 3rd tone.  Here is where it gets trippy – that 3rd tone is an electrical signal you are hearing because both of your brain hemispheres are working together.  Researchers found that different 3rd tones can be created that cause whole-brain states known as hemispheric synchronization.  These can be used to reach very deep meditation states, among many uses of these cds.  The Gateway series changed my life and left me convinced I am more than just a physical body.

Another solid meditation technology is the Paraliminal Series by Learning Strategies. You can view their cds at http://www.learningstrategies.com/Paraliminal/Home.asp.  I bought their law of attraction cd set.  Paraliminals use something called Holosync technology.  It stimulates a specific gland in your brain to produce meditative states by sending audible signals through a headset.  All I do is lay on my bed and turn on a cd.  Learning Strategies took this technology and added some enhancements.  On each cd, the founder of Learning Strategies speaks into one ear while a star of the secret tells you a different verbal meditation guidance in the other ear.  It is tricky to get used to at first, but when you get used to letting the words wash over you without stressing over following both speakers at the same time (which is the point I think), they are very beneficial.  For instance, I didn’t feel particularly motivated to write a blog entry.  I popped in one of their cds and as soon is it was over I sat down at my computer to write this.  It’s only been 2 minutes and I ripped this whole blog off?

Meditation will prove itself to you very quickly, effectively, and indisputably.  You just have to try it out.