Lesson 4 of A Course In Miracles instructs me to scan my thoughts. I am to apply the following to each thought I find - "This thought about [whatever thought is] does not mean anything. It is like the things I see in this room." It does not matter whether the thought is "good" or "bad." The lesson is to be applied arbitrarily regardless of how I feel about the thought.
Fortunately I was having mostly what I felt to be "good" thoughts. Of course, in typing that previous sentence, I see that my interior judge is hard at work as usual. In just a few days of re-taking the Course, it has shocked me how much I judge everything that goes on.
It doesn't happen consciously, there is just a seemingly constant need to decide how I feel or think about everything that passes by my vision or mind.
But at this point it doesn't even feel like a need. It just happens. Thoughts arise but they have no trigger from what I consider to be "me." And then ancillary thoughts fire off to debate the value of the previous thought.
I am glad that the text portion of the Course In Miracles repeatedly assures me that I am not alone in having incessant monkey brain chatter. Because observing how little control I have over my thinking, and judging, is very embarrassing. I cling to the thought (once again, thinking) that awareness is a first step to change.
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