Scott Desgrosseilliers

A Course In Miracles Lesson 8 My mind is preoccupied with past thoughts

There are so many quotable points of the Course in Miracles text that cuts through the daily life bullshit and tells it like it is. "The one wholly true thought one can hold about the past is that it is not here." A powerful statement that rings very true to me.

Think about it.  Its a fact that the past is not here and there isn't anything you can do about it.  The course wanted that this lesson "can be done four or five times during the day, unless you find it irritates you."  It does irritate me, because I was irritated at how much time my mind wastes thinking about the past.  I thought I was pretty good about living in the present moment!

I think the past is sometimes good for review to determine any lessons to be taken from the past experiences.  But woulda/coulda/shoulda and replaying past scenarios over and over - it is an unproductive way to spend your time and it does nothing to help your present situation.

I did take solace in the fact that awareness of a problem is the first step to changing it.  And I was supported with the lesson text that said "...understanding will finally come to lighten every corner of the mind that has been cleared of the debris that darkens it." 

Debris.  That is a good word to describe all the past thought-form junk floating around in my mind.  So that makes me a metaphysical garbage man on a cleanup mission.

A-Course-In-Miracles-Lesson-7-I-see-only-the-past

As you may have read from the last post, I am re-starting the lessons back here at lesson #7 because I got too far ahead in the lesson-to-blog-post ratio.  I don't think it would be an accurate enough representation of my feelings and thoughts on a lesson to recall it from the past.  Which is ironic given that today's lesson is that "I see only the past." (See Lesson 7 of ACIM here)

The lesson hits it right on the head with the first sentence.  "This idea is particularly difficult to believe at first."  Umm, yeah, it is a little odd to believe.  However, the Course repeatedly stresses to suspend all disbelief and judgment while practicing the lesson of the day, so that is what I do.  I glance around my bedroom, naming the objects I see in the manner "I see only the past in [whatever I look at]."

This lesson gives me a feeling of frustration.  Its NOT with the lesson's content.  If everything about everything I know is based on past experiences and not the current moment, perhaps I really don't have much of a clue at all about how the world works.  And that is very frustrating.

When I glance at an inanimate object such as a lamp, I am not sure how much of a difference it would make that I see my past experiences of a lamp rather than the lamp as it is now.  As long as it lights up the room, right?  Of course, if I am not seeing the lamp in the now moment, and this current moment has a frayed wire that might set the room ablaze, I will wish that I had seen the lamp as it is now. 

More importantly, when I make a judgment about a person, it shades all my future experiences with that person.  This may or may not help me in the future.  This "beginner's mind", as stated in esoteric zen buddhist texts, allows me to meet each situation with an unbiased, clear, and open mind. 

My Dog Ate My Spiritual Evolution

Here I am posting after a 3 1/2 week delay.  What the hell happened?  Well, my dog really did eat some of my lesson cards as punishment for leaving the house for lunch.  She will do that when it has been determined, by some criteria that I have yet to figure out, that Daddy is not supposed to leave for any reason.  But that can't be the reason for not posting and following the lessons, because the lessons are readily available online and I also have the Course In Miracles huge book with every lesson in the back.

I had mentioned during my first post about how long it takes to do the one year Course In Miracles lessons.  They are not overly time-consuming, they don't ask you to change anything (although you will change dramatically), and they are fun to do and I look forward to them.  However, it took me quite a long time to get through the lessons the first time. 

I couldn't put my finger on the problem.  Everyone gets busy.  But the public posting of the Course should have kept me more honest.  In hindsight it is much easier to post first thing after having done the lesson for the day rather than playing catchup with posting about lessons after the fact.  I had reached lesson 16 and realized my blog was 10 behind!  I am going to re-start with lesson 6 and not move ahead until I've posted something.

So what is the block that I and so many others face with lesson progress during the Course In Miracles lessons?  I believe it is the same foe that the Course promises to defeat, the Ego.  Having been through the Course before, it is more obvious how the Ego will trick, plan, sneak attack, overtly attack, confuse, distract, and do anything else to keep you from the lessons of A Course In Miracles.  The reason is that the Course can defeat the Ego and it knows it.